Health tips for better life

NLP, or neuro-linguistic programming, is a way of understanding why you see life the way you do, and why you make the decisions you make. It is a way of understanding the subtle interconnections taking place between the signals going to and from your brain, the messages coded into those messages, and how your personal experiences decode those messages that become the base of your thinking patterns and behaviours. Practitioners of Neuro Linguistic Programming also use hypnosis to understand and remodel preconceived notions about any range of ideas or topics, leading to improved productivity, and personal development. In short, NLP explains the reasons why two people with similar educational qualifications, training, background, and experience achieve varying results in life. NLP practitioners use the patterns in a therapeutic way to effectively give you choice of how you respond to all situations in your life.

So, how does this amazing set of tools work? A number of people have dogs for pets. But say, for instance, as a child, you were chased by a particularly big, angry dog. An experience like that could cause you to be scared of dogs as an adult, even to the point of becoming a phobia. An NLP practitioner will analyse your words and body language to understand the root of your problem. Once he or she understands the basis for your perception, the practitioner or therapist will help you change the way you represent your experience to yourself and in this way – how your experience affects the way you think, feel and act. Why should you believe in NLP? What makes it different from other personal development approaches? For one, NLP relies on concepts that work, rather than concepts that ought to work. It draws on habits and experiences of “ordinary” people who have achieved that something extra. In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder of the University of California studied the work of pioneers in psychotherapy and hypnosis—Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson. Their research laid the foundation for what would later be known as Neuro Linguistic Programing. They identified patterns people used when talking about their experiences. They suggested that people with a greater variety of experiences will have access to a greater variety of choices. This in turn would lead people to create results that are in line with, and closer to, what they want, rather than when they made choices based on faulty representations of their experiences. Since then, NLP practitioners have studied the beliefs, values, behaviour, and habits of people who have been successful in every sphere of life, and use the results of those modelling studies to correctly reproduce the same performance in others. It is this replication of achievement that embodies the core principles of NLP. NLP helps you do more for yourself, communicate better and use these techniques to help both yourself and others achieve their potential. While NLP is a highly effective tool for individuals looking to accomplish more, it is also a practical method for managers looking to raise team and organisational productivity levels. It is also useful in developing students’ approach to learning and achievement. Neuro Lingual Programming helps you in the following ways: It will teach you to use the power of using all your positive life experiences to bolster you in difficult situations. It will enable you to deal with negative experiences and find the opportunities present in potential disasters. It will aid you in understanding your preconceptions, and changing those that are hindering your progress. This, in turn, will help you be more effective at work, in your career, in your relationships, in every aspect of your life. You will learn how to help and influence others in much more effective ways. Open up new opportunities for yourself. All this helps you master challenging situations, manage people more productively and achieve personal excellence.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP for short, is a method of communication between a therapist and a client or participant that is focused on what goals a participant has set and what they are actually capable of.

Unlike other forms of therapy that require diagnosis and treatment of a problem, NLP is client centered healing. There are no ‘problems’, no broken people and nothing that requires fixing. Instead, NLP practitioners use goals created specifically by their clients to decide where therapy should head and how fast or slow it should move. Everything is geared to listening to the client and basing therapy and treatment around each client’s specific needs and capabilities.

The techniques of NLP have been in use in various fields for some time, but were only recognized as being part of behavior patterning and effective communication after the field of therapy began to recognize similarities in successful people. The same strategies used in NLP have been used in fields such as business and sales, sports and athletics, and interpersonal influence.

NLP can improve a person’s public speaking skills, and is a very successful business management communication skill. Many key people in political and entertainment fields already use rapport, mimicry and anchoring, all practical devices of NLP, when talking to large groups, giving lectures or speeches, or debating and offering persuasive arguments.

NLP used in the field of psychotherapy itself can help with a number of challenges clients face. Because it focuses on recognition of what triggers certain behaviors, NLP techniques are able to change client reliance on unhealthy behaviors such as smoking or over-eating. Clients are always the center of any NLP therapy, and whether they are coming to a practitioner with a phobia of snakes or are wishing to let go of a bad memory such as child abuse or other childhood trauma, NLP offers them success.

Goal-setting helps in most cases; other times NLP means taking a past experience and changing it in the perceptions of the client. Through the identification of triggers and feelings surrounding an event or trauma, behavior or thought, clients learn what sort of ‘thinker’ they are and what cues they give when they are feeling bad or about to indulge in a negative or unhealthy behavior. With the guidance of an NLP practitioner, clients can learn new ways to visualize a bad experience, making it into something uninteresting to their subconscious, and enabling them to let go of the bad in favour of the good. Through careful study of eye movement, verbal cues and body language, clients learn when they are about to do something not a part of their goals. New behavior is imprinted on the client, encoded into their thinking process. Clients no longer look back with fear, sadness or anger at past experiences, but instead have a new nonchalant attitude towards them.

New behaviors can be introduced using NLP techniques, and clients can feel a great amount of personal success at learning to help themselves. It is because of this goal setting and client centered attitude that NLP really works.

The NLP or Neuro-linguistic Program is a systemized model of study that allows individuals to learn and become better in communicating and getting desired output and to use these skills towards self-improvement. There is a great influence of NLP found in specific psychological programs and psychotherapy. Behavioral patterns and speech progressions are significantly studied to create an environment of heightened awareness with one’s self and interaction with other individuals. This program is a great way to achieve a high level of intimacy with a person’s self which is attained through a series of systematized lessons. The application of these studies is to be undertaken through NLP training.

The whole series of learning enables one to establish strong ties with the self and achieve goals through personal empowerment as a result of undergoing the training.

The emphasis on intrinsic learning is to have a more heightened sense of awareness with regard to personal skills and capacity. One’s personal perceptiveness is attained through an organized and escalating process of learning made available in NLP training.

The whole system does not only involve one’s self but rather, also what is on the outside. In other words, there exists a cooperation of the individual with other individuals, whoever they may be throughout the activities of NLP training. Subsequently, the student of NLP training is subject to establish a deep sense of discernment to effectively apply the results of the training. The fruits of this highly scientific process can be easily observed via the success one will attain when the proper skills and learning models are applied.

The integration of NLP training in real time scenarios creates the environment of influence which NLP aims to achieve. This training provides the initial learning base which sets up the positive sense of motion. The NLP model expressly implies the workings of the brain as it is connected to speech, behavior and immediate response to certain situations and scenarios. After such, NLP training takes into effect and influencing the real time environment, sufficiently aiding the self with skills that draw success in the conversion of raw data to vital information. To avail of NLP training is a great choice to enable yourself in an environment to hone your skills and be able to attain higher level of organized communication.

Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, as it is more commonly called nowadays, is a form of psychological therapy and treatment that was developed during the 1970s. However, as time went by, the method gained interest among people who developed a lot of variations and deviations from the original form. This resulted to the evolution of NLP from being just a psychotherapeutic method, to being a strategy for personality and organizational development.

NLP training courses are now used by many individuals, as well as companies all over the world to overcome problems and improve their personal and professional performance. In fact, NLP training is emerging as one of the biggest trends in personality development that a lot of institutes are now offering a myriad of NLP courses to choose from. With this growing popularity, some questions must now be answered.

How did NLP start? And how did it grow to be such a successful innovation?

Neuro-linguistic programming was founded by Richard Bandler, who was then a student at the University of California, and John Grinder, an American linguist and author who was at the same university at that time. Bandler and Grinder developed the theory that linked the success of therapy treatments to the linguistic characteristics and structure of the patients. These observations were then used to come up with a method of therapy that aims to help patients with mainly psychological problems like phobias, personality disorders, learning disorders, and depression. 

This breakthrough in the field of psychotherapy garnered a lot of attention, both positive and negative, from the professional field. Some were convinced by the models and principles proposed by Bandler and Grinder, thus forming a large number of followers that eventually pursued their own studies on the same subject and developed new methods to practice these principles. As with any other novel medical approach, NLP also received a lot of criticism and negative feedback from some medical practitioners who claim that the approach has no empirical basis and therefore, should not be considered ‘scientific.’

Despite this negative feedback, NLP continued to grow as a psychotherapeutic technique and, as the rapidly expanding NLP training industry suggests, as a technique for personal and professional improvement.

Today, many people enroll in NLP training courses because they believe that these classes can help them realize their full potential as individuals and achieve their goals. It also helps them have a good relationship with people around them, gain confidence, improve their communication skills, and overcome their fears.

NLP encourages questions, challenging your responses to the world around you. It’s an ability that is as delicate as it is empowering. Delicate because NLP requires constant, conscious awareness. At least initially.

Attending an NLP course, or seeing an NLP psychotherapist, opens up a desire and an ability to understand yourself in ways you couldn’t before.

An NLP Course - A course transfers skills for you to practice and apply later. It can leave you full of energy and inspiration to forge ahead and change your life. But it can also open up unexpected raw emotion and old wounds that have to be left unresolved because of time.

NLP Psychotherapy – Individual sessions provide the time you need to liberate yourself from old wounds. But regular sessions and homework is time consuming and because the costs can add up, perhaps you only focus on “the important things”.

This might leave you with things that niggle away later.

Both situations are emotionally demanding, containing potential conflicts. Occassionally, a person will go on to end a long-term relationship; perhaps because of the challenge of integrating their learning at the same time as going about their daily life.

To guard against this, here are some common ways newcomers to NLP can inadvertently sabotage their relationship when really, they just want it to be better.

Keep in mind that NLP does not hurt your relationships – it’s the way you apply it that influences your choices.

“It’s My Life”

NLP teaches us that it’s okay to consider our own needs.

It’s quite a nice lesson to learn in a world where we are encouraged to be all things to everyone else.

But in the heady delight of “being honest”, “envisioning our future” and “strategising our dreams”, we can become so orientated towards the new, that we overlook the gems in what we already have. Other things, perhaps even other people, start looking more attractive.

The other side of the coin is that we are considerably shaken by what we have discovered about ourselves and our opportunities. We become emotionally unable to provide reassurance or maintain any semblance of a relationship while we are busy trying to make sense of this new way of thinking.

In both situations, the temptation to put the relationship aside while we focus on ourselves is hard to resist and for some people, it’s the only option they feel they have.

Resist making any big decisions during this time but your partner does need to know what you are going through. If you only ever seek relationship help once in your life, this would be the time to do it. Preferably both of you – together as well as individually.

It’s your personal development, not theirs

If you spend time in a remote part of the world, you’ll return home able to have a good bath using just one jug of water. Just because you can do this, don’t expect your loved one can suddenly do it too – or that she even wants to.

Personal Development programmes, including NLP and EFT amongst others, will open up new ways of thinking and behaving and you’ll be so tempted to “improve” your partner too. Don’t do it! Your course/session has been paced to bring you to where you are now. Your partner hasn’t had that experience and besides, she might be ultra-sensitive to what your change means for her. Top bug-bears for non-NLP people are:

“Techniquing” your partner - If she’s upset, don’t immediately SWISH her or ask her to “Tap and accept herself”.  Listen to her and appreciate the opportunity to practice the new listening, pacing and reframing skills you have learnt.
Evangelising about how great NLP is - She really doesn’t care. Talk normally about it with a similar level of enthusiasm as you would for any other obsession… err.. I mean interest…  and she may want to know more.

Pressing Buttons

NLP makes you aware of your own buttons, good and bad. You won’t have time on a course to address them properly and even with one-to-one coaching, you’ll only address the ones that reveal themselves in the context of your issue.

Back in the real world, you’ll be tuned into yourself to a higher degree than you were before. When things niggle you, perhaps you’ll interpret them as a sign that the relationship is wrong. But the chances are that a button has been pushed. Personal Development is not limited to training courses or coaching sessions, it goes on every single day and identifying what you have just reacted to is all part of the process.

“If I go out, he’ll sulk for days” - You’ve both had buttons pushed. As an NLPer, you probe your deeper mind to find the root of your button. But he doesn’t because it’s like “navel-gazing”. Plus it’s emotionally and mentally draining. Communication is the bedrock of any relationship and once you’ve taken the emotional charge out of your own “It’s not fair that I can’t go out” emotions, you’re better placed to talk to him. Avoiding obvious NLP terminology (it’s grating to hear it), think about what have you learnt through your course or individual coaching sessions that you could apply to have him understand and accept your right to go out.

NLP is cold and emotionless

People commonly complain that NLP is cold and emotionless because it puts a structure to something as ethereal as emotions. The structure provides footholds during personal coaching and self-analysis. However, using clinical words and phrases to non-NLP friends and family is just asking for trouble. Friends and family want to talk about their issues – not have someone whip out a pencil and jot down their submodalities etc.

This is frustrating for an NLPer who knows that the “problem” could be over quickly if the person would just listen to their NLP pearl of wisdom. But they get “Are you NLPing me?”, “Stop NLPing me”, “I’m not doing a technique, it’s artificial”

People want to be understood. People like others taking an interest in them. If you can be genuine about this, then the NLP principles “Every behaviour has a positive intention” and “People respond to their experience, not reality itself” take precedence naturally – giving rise to a rapport, pacing and leading that mitigates against any coldness.

Separation

Sometimes it is time for people to go their separate ways. Divorce and separation are amongst the most damaging and stressful experiences we can have and NLP can certainly play its part in managing the stress during the various stages of grief.

In a separation, one person often “wants” it more than the other. When you’re the NLPer initiating a break-up, you know how to call on the resources within you that will allow you to do it with integrity and respect.

While your partner may not ever approve of or agree with the decision, be respectful, take ownership of your decision and remember the NLP principles that will allow you to act responsibly and kindly. After all, this person played an important part in your life, and to some degree influences the person you have become.

And of course, if there are children involved, your partner will forever be a part of your life and a part of the life of your next partner. A bitter separation will affect your child’s well-being and will also impact the quality of your next relationship.

NLP is more than just a set of techniques. In some ways, it’s like playing tennis for the first time. You’ll miss a lot of balls before you develop a style – but regular practice can turn it into a way of life that becomes richer with every experience.